Beyond Brotherhood
- Mandi Alvarado
- Mar 22
- 15 min read
Beyond Beautiful: Disability, Liberation, Love
Season 2, Episode 11 - Beyond Brotherhood
🧭 Episode Summary
In this deeply personal episode of Beyond Beautiful, Mandi is joined by her sons, Xavier and Ezra, for an honest and heartfelt conversation about family, identity, and love.
Together, they explore what it’s like growing up with a queer, disabled parent and being part of a blended family with three parents. Through their perspectives, this episode centers brotherhood, interdependence, and the many ways family can be defined.
This conversation is grounded in care and consent—focusing on resilience, connection, and joy, while honoring each child’s voice and communication style.
🎙 Guest
Xavier, also known as My Little Bear, is full of personality and humor. He's at that preteen stage where he's really coming into himself. He loves music, enjoys playing chess, and definitely values his alone time. He brings a thoughtful, sometimes hilarious perspective
to the world around him.
Ezra, also known as HunnyBee, is deeply sensitive and incredibly intuitive. He looks up to his big brother in the sweetest ways, and he also needs a bit more time and support to fully express himself. Ezra is a creative soul. He loves art and is so deeply connected to emotion and the people around him.
Together, they bring such a beautiful balance to this conversation.
💬 Key Themes
Family
Disability, Identity, and Love
Non-traditional Family
🚨Partnership
Intersectional Access has a new partnership with Buoy, a company that creates hydration drops designed to support people living with chronic illnesses and conditions where maintaining hydration is especially important. Before agreeing to collaborate, I reached out to my community to hear about their experiences, and many people shared that Buoy has been helpful for managing symptoms and staying hydrated. One thing that stood out to me is their Chronic Illness Support Program, which offers people living with chronic illness 35% off their orders for life. If you use my referral link, you’ll receive 60% off your first subscription. Everyone else will receive 20% off their orders. I do earn a small commission from purchases made through the link, and that support helps sustain the podcast and the work I do to amplify disability-centered conversations. Use this Referral Link.
📜 Full Transcript
Xavier: Hi, this is my mom, Mandi, your Queer Christian Disabled host.
Mandi: I have to take a moment to share my excitement about Beyond Beautiful's partnership with Buoy. Hydration Drops. Bouy makes flavorless hydration drops you can add to any drink. This can help your body absorb water better. For a lot of people living with chronic illness, staying hydrated is really important, but is also really challenging. If you would like to try Bouy, I have a discount link that I'll put in the show notes and using that link also helps support the podcast and the accessibility work behind it. Now we can get into our intro.
Today's episode, Beyond Brotherhood, is a really special one for me because I'm joined by my sons. Now, before we started recording, I made sure to have conversations not only with them, but also with their dad. I want to be very clear that I have his full support and permission for the boys to participate in this episode. Co-parenting means making thoughtful, shared decisions, and this was one of them. I also want to name something that feels really important. As a storyteller, as a parent, and as someone rooted in disability justice, I am always thinking about consent, power and protection, especially when it comes to children. This conversation is not about digging into wounds or pulling out vulnerable moments for the sake of content. It's not about exploiting their feelings for entertainment. Instead, this episode centers love, resilience and perspective through their eyes, in their own words and at their own pace. You'll hear me hold space, offer support, and sometimes gently guide the conversation, especially because every child communicates differently, and that's something we honor here. So let me introduce you to my boys. My oldest, Xavier, also known as My Little Bear, is full of personality and humor. He's at that preteen stage where he's really coming into himself. He loves music, enjoys playing chess, and definitely values his alone time. He brings a thoughtful, sometimes hilarious perspective to the world around him.
And then there's my youngest, Ezra, my HunnyBee. Ezra is deeply sensitive and incredibly intuitive. He looks up to his big brother in the sweetest ways, and he also needs a bit more time and support to fully express himself. And that's okay. In fact, it's something I hope you'll listen for in this episode. Ezra is our creative soul. He loves art and is so deeply connected to emotion and the people around him. Together, they bring such a beautiful balance to this conversation. I invite you, as you listen, to slow down, to really hear them, to honor their voices, not as extensions of mine, but as their own. This is Beyond Brotherhood.
Mandi: Hello, boys. Welcome to the show. Can you both introduce yourselves? We'll start over here.
Xavier: Hi, I'm Xavier, and I'm 12 years old.
Ezra: Hi, my name's Ezra, and I'm going to be 9 years old soon.
Mandi: Awesome. And how would you describe each other? In three words. So we'll go to Xavier first. How would you describe Ezra in three words?
Xavier: Artistic. He's definitely artistic. He loves art. He is very energetic. Playful. Annoying. Sometimes.
Mandi: All right, Ezra, how would you describe Xavier in three words?
Ezra: I would think he's smart. Say that he's rarely playful. Sometimes. Or sometimes. And he is. Yeah, probably. He's like a video gamer.
Mandi: I love those. Okay, awesome. So I'll start with you, Ezra. What is your favorite thing about being brothers?
Ezra: Not being Mr. Lonely for 24/7.
Mandi: I like that. Not being Mr. Lonely. All right, how about you, Xavier? What's your favorite thing about being brothers?
Xavier: My favorite thing about being brothers is, like, kind of similar to him. Like, not being lonely, but also, like, it's more enter... It's more fun and, like, entertaining than being, like, an only child.
Mandi Okay, so you feel like your brother entertains you?
Xavier: Oh, yes, absolutely. Because he. He. He always finds ways to make me laugh and get me in trouble for laughing too loudly.
Mandi: You do laugh very loud. So that is true. All right, I'll start with you, Xavier. What is something that you've learned from each other? What's something you've learned?
Xavier: Without a doubt, Greek mythology. Back in fourth grade, I made eight different Kahoots on Greek gods and goddesses alone. That each of those eight cahoots was during the year. I'd say if you played all those together, you'd probably be sitting there for a solid hour, because I had so many questions.
Mandi: And you learned that from Ezra. Awesome. All right, Ezra, what's something that you've learned from Xavier?
Ezra: How to get a little more control of my temper.
Mandi: Oh, that's very good. So he helps you to learn how to calm down.
Ezra: Yeah.
Mandi: All right, so. So either one of you can answer this question. What do you think makes your relationship special?
Ezra: We have same blood.
Xavier: No, no, no. Like, what. What makes it, like, unique.
Ezra: That makes sense. We annoy the heck out of each other.
Xavier: Tough love. Tough love.
Mandi: Tough love.
Xavier: Tough love. Because I'm like...
Ezra: Brotherly love.
Xavier: No, tough, Because, like, me around him, if he's being, like, particularly persistent, I will shove in my earbuds and I will. And I will play music until he eventually walks out of that door. If anyone else tries doing that to him, I will roast them without hesitation whatsoever.
Mandi: So you can do things, but you will protect him from anyone else.
Xavier It's like an I can call my brother annoying, but you can't kind of thing.
Mandi I get that. All right. All right. So my next question. Either one of you can answer this. How would you describe our family to someone who has never met us?
Ezra: We are special and my. We all love each other and we have two dogs. So I am going to warn you to be a little careful because they can be a wild dog sometimes.
Mandi: That's true.
Xavier: Say we're definitely a family of persistence, hard work, and lots and lots of energy.
Mandi: We do have a lot of energy.
Xavier: Yeah, Ezra has a lot of energy. If I want something, I will. I will be very, very stubborn. And you are just. Are very optimistic.
Ezra: Singable. Musical.
Mandi: I like that. Okay.
Ezra: And Sarah's really hard working, like helping you out, and everything and putting up the dogs, and putting up decorations.
Mandi: Alright, so what does it feel like to have three parents who love and take care of you?
Xavier: It's our normal.
Ezra: Nice.
Xavier: It's our normal. It's like to anyone else...
Ezra: I'm glad there's one other person like parent who loves us.
Xavier: To anyone else, it might seem different. To us, it's just like our normal because like, we've gotten so used to it. It's just. It's not for us, it's just normal. For anyone else, it's different.
Mandi: So what are some things that. And I'll ask this to Xavier first. What are some things that make our family different from others?
Xavier: I would definitely say that we are very lucky because like me, I can be very, very. Like, I don't really care about this, but like, we're lucky to be where we are right now. Because like we parents, it's our normal. Extra love, extra affection. We're spoiled rotten. Like, absolutely rotten. Those dogs, they're evil little menaces to my sanity, but they are very cute.
Mandi: Okay. How about you, Ezra? What are some things that make our family different from others?
Ezra: We're a family who. We have lesbian parents who got married and didn't have kids. But technically, yes, step kids. Kids, I don't know. And we are very lucky to still see our dad. And I'm grateful for everything we have in this whole entire progress of work.
Mandi: That makes sense. Okay. What are some things that feel the same as other families? What are some things that make our family the same as other families?
Xavier: Definitely the love and affection and the spoiled rotten stuff and the gifts and the holidays and pretty much everything besides a couple of all of the extra love and affection. But I don't really mind that because I get spoiled rotten more.
Mandi: What do you think, Ezra? What are some things that make our family the same?
Ezra We still have a mother and father who still loves us, but let's just say you got. You're friends, like after...we still, like, see him, but not like we see him, just let's say in a different way from other people. We have animals pretty... Some other parents probably have that issue.
Xavier: Definitely issue.
Mandi: Yeah. Okay, let me ask another question. What does it mean to you to have a mom that is disabled? We'll start with Ezra.
Ezra: It's fine. I mean, I. I get to cuddle her every day. She. She does her normal job, like doing this exact thing she gets.
Mandi: You can say me. You can say you, because I'm your mom.
Ezra: Mother.
Mandi: Mother.
Ezra: And I love her a lot. Or, well, mother.
Xavier: All right. How about you, Xavier? What does it mean to you that your mom is disabled?
Xavier: It basically like, it's pretty much my normal. Like, I still come to you when I need stuff. I still ask you. I still ask permission for stuff. And then I will continue asking until I get it.
Mandi: Just like every other kid.
Xavier: Yes, like every other kid, every other 12 year old in this universe. I will continue to annoy you until I get what I want. And then I will feel guilty and not get it at all. It's normal. It's normal life just. And yeah, it's normal. Like any other kid would treat his mother.
Mandi: All right, so let me ask you this, Xavier. What are some things that you notice or understand about disability that other kids might not?
Xavier: I know a bit like how they work because, like, being in sixth grade, health is a pain, but it teaches me about this stuff. So, like, I. I kind of know how it works and I'm fine with it. Like, I'm good with people. So once I understand how it works.
Xavier: Like, I know why some people can't do specific stuff. Whether it's a mental disability or a physical disability. I know why they can't do it. And since I'm good with people, I help them, like in ways they need without, like, making them feel, like, insignificant.
Mandi: Yeah. Awesome. How about you, Ezra? What are some things that you notice or understand about disability that other kids might not?
Ezra: That I still like if they're a family member or just a friend. I still love them as a friend or a family. Because I know that's like, they're not, like, they get, let's say, kind of bullied a lot. I still love them for who they are.
Mandi: Awesome. All right, so, Xavier, have you ever had to explain my disability to someone? And what did that feel like to you?
Xavier: They ask, why is my mom in a wheelchair? I don't really have to go into details because they're satisfied with the answers I give them, but I just say, like, she was born disabled and, like, she can't move her legs and her arms. And they're satisfied. They don't need to press for questions because they got the answer they wanted.
Mandi: And how does it make you feel when people ask you that or when you have to explain that?
Xavier: When I first explained, I was, like, having a hard time explaining it because I wasn't sure if I should be, like, vague, if I should go into details. Just be blunt. As I continued explaining, which was only, like, three more times, it got more casual. Yeah.
Mandi: How about you, Ezra? Have you ever had to explain to someone why mommy has a disability?
Ezra: Yes.
Mandi: And what did that feel like? Was that hard?
Ezra: Kind of explained what it's called and what it. And, like, what. How it affects your body. And some people, like, say that any of your other family members that I would explain and they would, let's say, respect me.
Mandi: What do you wish more people understood about having a disabled parent?
Ezra: Not to bully them, not not to, like, I want them think if they were, let's say, if they were in my mom's shoes and I want them, and if they bully about me, I get om my defensive side and either tell a teacher again or just sometimes deal with it on my own. No fighting, no violence. Just, like, I explain to them what happened, and if they still bully me, you know, I guess tell a teacher.
Mandi: All right. How about you, Xavier? What do you wish more people understood about having a disabled parent?
Xavier: That they can do everything their parents can do and that. Well, I haven't really dealt with problems like this besides, like, explaining the disability. So I'm like, having a hard time define words. But, like, that they're able to do everything your parents can do and that for, like, the kids, you shouldn't be ashamed of that.
Mandi: Okay, how about Xavier, what is a way that mom supports you that maybe people wouldn't think of because I have a disability?
Xavier: You go all in. Like, if I'm somewhat interested in something even the slightest bit, you will pay one million bucks for that one class, and you will work harder than ever to get that money back so I can keep going, while we remain financially stable.
Mandi: Awesome. How about you, Ezra? What's one way that mommy supports you?
Ezra: Love.
Mandi: That's good. Yeah. Do you want to explain a little more? How do you know that I love you? In what ways do I show you love?
Ezra You give me cuddles and huggles, and you give me kisses.
Mandi: And are there any ways that I support you emotionally?
Ezra: Once I'm like upset, sad, or just mad
Xavier: At me, usually.
Mandi: What happens?
Ezra: I would come to you, you would say, what happened? And if I'm crying, you would say, come give me a hug. And you would cheer me up.
Xavier: And then she would deliver justice.
Mandi: Okay, what is something that you're really proud of about our family?
Xavier: Work very, very hard. Like really hard. I'm talking overtime parts. And like we all sort of like center around that. We are centered around your working hardiness. I don't know how to say it. Working, working hardiness. Working hard. I mean, you get the working hard.
Mandi: Yeah, yeah.
Xavier: You're working hard habits. That works. And like, if you really like stop and think about it, like about what we have, we should be immensely grateful. I'm talking Mother's Day per month, grateful.
Mandi: I appreciate that. How about you, Ezra? What is one thing that you are proud of in our family or about our family?
Ezra: I don't know. There is actually a lot. Like love gifts, birthdays, holidays.
Xavier: Basically everything where he gets spoiled.
Ezra No, not true. Well, everything we already have because of you guys. I'm very, very grateful for what we already have.
Mandi: Awesome. And so Ezra, what is your favorite memory of our family together?
Ezra: If my favorite memory, I have a couple. But if I have to choose one, Niagara Falls and Ithaca.
Mandi: You loved that trip when we went to Niagara Falls in Ithaca. What did you love about that trip?
Ezra: The satisfactory of waterfalls.
Mandi: The waterfalls were very beautiful.
Ezra: The love that I got.
Mandi: Yeah.
Ezra: And the beautiful, beautiful bed.
Mandi: We did.
Xavier: Beautiful king size, cold, heavy blankets. That sweaty blanket bed.
Mandi: Okay. How about you, Xavier? What is your favorite memory of our family together?
Xavier: I haven't the foggiest idea. There's. There's too much to choose from.
Mandi: Okay, pick like your top two favorites.
Xavier: That makes it easier. Probably the Niagara Falls. Probably the basketball game.
Mandi: You liked that?
Xavier: I loved that.
Mandi: All right, so when you think about your future, what is something from our family that you want to carry with you into your future? Ezra, how about you go first?
Ezra: Toys, video game, love. Hopefully the memory of you guys. Hopefully I'll keep my drawing skills.
Mandi: How about you, Xavier?
Xavier: The hard work, passion, the emotion and. And what else? I know there was something else I wanted to say, but I'm trying to find the right words for it and the patience and the ability to somehow maintain sanity and dignity through this chaotic household that is our home.
Mandi: Okay, all right. And this is my last question. If our family had a motto or a saying, what would it be? We'll go to Xavier first.
Xavier: This is chaos. Welcome to our house.
Mandi: This is chaos. Welcome to our house. Okay, how about you?
Ezra: Hello. Welcome to the fanciest place in the world.
Mandi: Is that how you view our home? As the fanciest place in the world? Okay, so as we start to wrap up, is there anything else that you would like the listeners to know about our family?
Xavier: Yes, absolutely. I would probably say if any of you judge a single word that is spoken here tonight or whenever you're listening, just remember why we make this. Remember why this podcast exists.
Mandi: All right, thank you so much. I appreciate your time and your willingness to share about our family and your experiences in our family.
Xavier: It was fun to be here.
Mandi: I love you both very much.
Xavier and Ezra: We love you.
Mandi: Thank you so much for listening to this incredibly special episode. I hope you enjoyed listening as much as I enjoyed recording it. I've got a few exciting updates and invitations to share with you all. First, I'm partnering with Sexy Disabled Folks to host a virtual film screening of Life After on Saturday, March 28 from 2 to 4pm, followed immediately by a community conversation from 4 to 5pm on Zoom. All times are in Eastern Standard Time. Life After is a powerful documentary that explores the value placed on disabled lives within our healthcare systems and society, centering stories that challenge assumptions about quality of life, autonomy and survival. A content warning: this film does include discussions of medical trauma, systemic ableism, end of life decision making, and the devaluation of disabled lives. You can join us by purchasing a virtual ticket through Kinema. I'll include the link in the show notes. Tickets are $8, but we don't want finances to be a barrier. We have a limited number of discounted tickets at 25% off, so if cost is a concern, please reach out to me at intersectionalaccess@gmail.com for more information. And because it's officially spring fling season, my very first mini script guide is here. Access is Sexy: A Mini Script Guide for Naming Access Needs in Dating is now available as an instant download. This guide is designed to help you confidently name your needs before, during and after a date. Because access is not a burden, it's a foundation for connection. You can grab your copy by visiting my website, mandiboxbeauty.com/podcast and click the Power the Podcast button. All proceeds go directly towards supporting Beyond Beautiful and helping me continue bringing these conversations to life. And finally, as we begin to close out this season, for the last two episodes, I'll be pausing guest interviews and offering some personal reflections on what has been an incredible season starting next Sunday. I hope you'll join me as we look back on the conversations we've had and highlight the disability justice framework woven throughout each episode. Thank you for being part of this journey.
Ezra: And remember, disability, liberation love are always Beyond Beautiful.
💌 Stay Connected
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